


everything's blurry but you

by uchiharvno



Series: coffee beans [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchiharvno/pseuds/uchiharvno
Summary: sequel to Mistakes Like These
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke
Series: coffee beans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606930
Comments: 22
Kudos: 95





	everything's blurry but you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sariasprincy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariasprincy/gifts).



> prompt request from Sariasprincy: If you find motivation to continue that Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke love triangle, please do!

It was an explosion. Sasuke had taken one look at her and _knew_. The mask of indifference that he’d honed over the years crumbled as Sakura watched his face morph from confusion to disbelief and denial to pure, unadulterated rage. Then he bolted out of her home and to his car, while she scrambled after him with desperate apologies and futile explanations. 

_How did we get here?_ she thought, for what seemed like the millionth time, as her bike swayed unsteadily with her jerky movements, trying to catch up to him.

She couldn’t believe what was happening, how it was all unfolding, how her world was slowly unravelling, dismantling at its very core. Just a month ago, they’d graduated from high school. They had been happy, they were invincible. And now… she and Sasuke were broken up and she’d slept with his father in her moment of weakness.

She slowed as she neared their house, jumping off of her bike before she’s even squeezed the brakes. She could already hear Sasuke's yelling so she sprinted as fast as she could into the front door that’s been left wide open. And her heart leapt in her chest when she found them in the kitchen, Sasuke holding Kakashi by the collar of his shirt. His fist connected with his father’s jaw with a dreadful smack, the impact strong enough that the older man stumbled backwards and braced himself against the edge of the counter, only for Sasuke to come at him again, this time sending him down to the floor. 

Kakashi refused to fight back and Sakura dashed forward when Sasuke looked like he was about to kick him. She wrapped her arms around him in restraint, all the while he thrashed and strained against her tight hold to growl profanities at his dad. “She’s young enough to be your daughter, you fucking asshole!”

He shook her off of him and his entire body was taut as he fought the urge to lunge at him again. “Do you love her?” he demanded.

Kakashi sighed and Sakura held her breath. When he looked up at Sasuke, she saw the utter defeat in his eyes, the hopelessness, like he wished he didn’t feel the way he did but there was nothing he could do about it. “Yes,” he said, as if with his dying breath.

Here was Kakashi, the man who took him in and raised him and gave him the kind of life he never thought he would be lucky enough to have. And here was Sakura, his best friend, his anchor and his compass. His _family_ , the both of them.

“Is that what you wanted to hear?” Sasuke asked, turning to her now. Where his father’s eyes shone with every bit of emotion−of regret, of sadness, of guilt−his were devoid of light. They were cold and bottomless.

“Sasuke-kun−” she was cut off by the sharp sound of glass shattering and his footsteps moving past her and the front door slamming shut. 

It was the watch, she realized. He’d thrown it next to Kakashi and it had shattered into irreparable pieces.

.

.

.

Kakashi sat by the counter with one hand pressing a bag of ice chips to his temple and the other nursing a glass of whiskey, while a third hand pressed a bag of frozen peas to his jaw. This close, she could see that Sasuke had already done damage before she’d gotten there. His left eye was beginning to swell shut, his face red and battered. 

This close, she tried not to notice their knees touching and the way that his eyes softened when he looked at her. This close, she tried not to _remember_.

“I remember first hearing about you,” he said, the first words spoken between them since his son walked out on them half an hour ago. There was a faraway look in his eyes, a soft fondness in the painful movement at the corners of his mouth. “Sasuke came home talking about this annoying, insufferable know-it-all.” 

Sakura snorted and rolled her eyes, despite the heavy feeling in her chest. And she tried to hold in her tears as he recounted stories from when they were younger, from when things were good, telling her how Sasuke had lit up every time she was around, how he rarely spoke but when he did he spoke of her, how their house felt better when she was in it. “The last thing I wanted to do was get between you two,” he sighed. “I just… last night… I couldn’t−”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she cut him off, afraid of what else he was going to say. She couldn’t have this, not right now. “I also made a choice last night.” 

“Do you regret it, Sakura?” 

Her mouth parted at the absurdity of the question. They wouldn’t be this miserable right now if they hadn’t done what they did, and yet… she couldn’t help but think that if he weren’t her ex-boyfriend’s father and if she weren’t still in love with Sasuke, she wouldn’t have minded it at all. But this, she kept to herself, and a tension-fueled silence stretched on as she busied herself with cooling down the swelling on his face. She ignored the way he looked at her, like she didn’t need to answer because he already knew. 

Her breath hitched when she felt his fingers circle her wrist, slowly bringing her hand away from his face, his face slowly growing closer to hers. Close enough that his nose skimmed her cheek, close enough that she could see how his lashes fanned out, close enough that she could see the mesmerizing silver ring around his dark, gray eyes. She pressed her palm to his hard chest and she was surprised by the way his heart sang. She inhaled sharply and swallowed tightly, pressing her forehead against his. “Please don’t,” she whispered. 

She cupped his cheek, brushing her thumb across his cheekbone and she met his eyes tearfully when she felt him lean into her palm. “Kakashi,” she said weakly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t see it, all this time, but… you deserve to be loved… like I love him.” 

He exhaled through his nose, something close to a laugh. He visibly winced before his lips spread into a smile that didn’t reach his sad, sad eyes−and she thought that maybe that was why she’d gravitated to him that night, because he looked as lonely as she felt. 

He nodded. “Like he loves you.”

.

.

.

Sasuke had a spot; at the edge of the city, up the hills, overlooking the metro. He came up there whenever he was sad or confused or lost or angry, or when he was feeling celebratory or content or when he just felt like it−it was a place for him to simply _be_. And this was where she found him later in the night, sitting on the hood of his car with a bottle of Jack to his lips. 

He didn’t turn to look when Sakura’s bike creaked to a halt, when the leaves crunched underneath her feet as she walked towards him and stopped just a few feet away, uncertain. 

“Why him?” he simply asked, without looking away from the city. His voice was cool, calm, but she saw the hard set to his jaw and his tight grip on the bottle.

“Because he was there,” she answered, and he simply took another swig from his bottle and nodded slowly. His silence was gutting. She wanted him to yell at her, to grip her tightly and shake her, to make her feel the anger that she knew all too well was still there, burning under his cold exterior. 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” 

The question took her aback even more and when she opened her mouth to protest, he only gave her a knowing look that silenced her. “You can say it, Sakura.”

She shook her head as she felt tears well in her eyes once again, and she only hesitated for a heartbeat before the words came pouring out of her. “I wanted _you_ ,” she started, shakily. “I called _you_.”

He slid down the side of the car’s hood and her feet moved forward, as if on their own. She hit him as she cried, over and over, again and again, until she was sobbing into his chest. And she told him everything; how she missed him, all the time, even when he was right within her reach because he felt so far away already. And she would never hold it against him, how desperately he wanted to be out of this place that he picked the farthest university he could find, because she wanted to support him in everything that he did and she was proud of him, but… “You were so far away, so ahead of yourself, so ahead of everyone else−” she took a deep breath when she felt herself choking up. “It felt like… you were moving forward without me. And I felt _so_ lonely. I felt like−like it was so easy for you to leave me behind.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice strained with emotion, finally. She felt his arms come around her, his hand cradling her head as he wrapped his other arm tightly around her waist. “I’m not… I don’t talk about my feelings, I don’t tell you what I’m thinking all the time, so it’s my fault that you feel that way. But if only you knew− _god_ , if only you knew…” 

Sasuke pulled away just enough so that he could see her face, to hold her in his hands and wipe her tears away. And she knew this was hard for him, could see the struggle plain on his face, as he had to put it all into words where actions used to be enough. “I’ve always been… unsure. Of everything. Unsure of what I want and what I need. Unsure of who I fucking _am_. But you?” his eyes softened and his voice grew quiet, like he were telling her his greatest secret. “You’re the only thing I’ve ever been sure of, Sakura.”

.

.

.

Sakura wasn’t sure how they got here, wasn’t sure who leaned in first and who closed the gap. But even after agreeing that there was no coming back from what had happened, she’d still ended up in the backseat of his car, leaning against the door and reaching for the headrest above her for something to cling to as Sasuke pushed her over the edge again and again with his mouth.

He knew her like the back of his hand. He knew how to make her gasp, how to make her moan, how to make her scream. Knew exactly where to press his tongue down, knew where to nip with his lips, knew how to unravel her with a simple motion of his fingers. 

Sakura reached for him with desperate hands. She wanted him; more of him, all of him. He was the air she’d kill to breathe. He pulled her onto his lap and she tore at his clothes. She wanted to see him, drink all of him in for the last time and commit every inch of his skin to memory. And he must want the same, because his dark eyes roamed over her, his gaze so intense that she shivered. He dragged his lips across her skin, memorizing her in his own way, immortalizing her on his tongue.

Her eyes slipped shut in overwhelming ecstasy. She could feel him everywhere; his hands going up the curve of her ass, sliding up her back and her sides, his mouth on her breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple, his cock throbbing inside of her, stretching her and filling her as she rocked against him. It was too much and it almost hurt. Every delicious thrust broke her heart. 

Last night had been an escape, a quick fix. But this was different. They made love and it was _goodbye_ and _I’m sorry_ and _I will never love like this again_. It was catharsis, it was closure, it was perfect.

Sakura held his face in her hands and crashed her mouth against his. “I love you,” she gasped into their kiss. “I love you, Sasuke-kun. I love you, I love you, I love you…” like a mantra, like it’s the absolute truth. 

She threw her head back as she neared her release and Sasuke cupped the back of her head, pressing their foreheads together as he thrust harder and faster into her. His fist tightened in her hair, forcing her eyes open, locked on his, teary seafoam green boring into soulful black as they came together. _I see you_ , he said wordlessly. _You’re all I see._

She collapsed against him, and he only gave her a moment to catch her breath before he was turning her around on his lap so that she was leaning back against his chest with her head on his shoulder. She shivered with anticipation when he spread her legs and his hands squeezed and tugged at her breasts while he sucked on her neck.

“I’m not nearly done with you,” he rasped into her ear, one hand snaking down her stomach to cup her dripping sex.

.

.

.

Sakura moved on after that, or at least she tried.

Her girlfriends forced her to make the best out of her last summer before college, she helped her dad out with his gardening projects, helped out at her mother’s teahouse in her free time, and she even got a part-time job at the local clinic. It almost felt like she was punishing herself, to some extent. Punishing her body, as she continued with her over-scheduled routine even when she knew it was taking a toll on her, even when she started feeling sick more often.

But she’d take anything, really, to distract herself, to get her mind off of what had happened. To keep herself from missing Sasuke and wondering if Kakashi had moved on.

She avoided the both of them for the two months that Sasuke was still home, but she had to see him before he left. He was her ex-boyfriend but he was her best friend before it all, and they’d been waiting for this moment since they were children. She had to see him.

And she watched as he went through their group of friends, bidding them goodbye with one-armed hugs and fist bumps with a lopsided grin on his face. Until finally, he paused in front of her. They just stared at each other for a long moment, unsure of what to do. 

“Have a safe flight,” she said, voice sounding foreign to herself. 

“I don’t think I have control over that,” he smirked, an attempt at normalcy. But he was only able to keep it up for a second longer before his smirk faltered and her eyes stung, already wet at the corners. 

She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and he hugged her back just as tight, burying his face in her shoulder. “Take care of yourself, Sakura,” he murmured softly as he let her go, thumbs brushing tears from her eyes. 

“Text me when you land?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding.

.

.

.

Sakura braced herself against the sink and cupped her hand under the faucet to rinse her mouth with water. She hated this, hated being sick. Being in an airport didn’t make her feel any better; this was practically a hub for foreign germs. With Sasuke gone, she wanted nothing but to go home and bury herself under a heavy pile of warm blankets and maybe have her mom coddle her a bit, one last time before she went to university−

She froze in her steps when she saw a familiar figure walking towards the airport’s exit. As if feeling her eyes on him, Kakashi turned his head, footsteps coming to a halt abruptly as their eyes locked. She could see his eyes clearly over his face mask−no doubt he’d slipped out of work just to see his son off. 

“Dr. Hatake,” she greeted politely, meeting him halfway through the busy airport traffic. This didn’t have to be weird or awkward; he had been one of her favorite people once, after all. “Did you get to say goodbye to him?”

“Yeah,” he answered, and they started walking towards the exit together, a safe distance between them. He was smiling, she could tell, even with his mask on. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. “He slept over last night.”

She felt relief flood through her at that. Sasuke never came home after walking out on them that one morning and he’d lived at the Uzumakis’ for the remainder of his time home. “That’s good,” she breathed. “I’m really glad to hear that.”

“What about you? How are you?” 

“Oh, just… you know… I’ve just been keeping busy,” she shrugged lightly. “Also, well, since you’re a doctor, maybe you can tell me what’s up−I puked out my breakfast just now before I saw you, actually.” 

She went on to tell him how sick she’d been getting. The nausea that came and went, the frequent vomiting, and how easily tired she got, and she’d easily chalked it off to being tired from her daily routine and not getting enough sleep. “I probably would’ve gotten an earful from Sasuke-kun if he’d known−” she joked, and trailed off when she realized that Kakashi was no longer by her side.

She turned and found that he’d lagged a couple of steps behind her, frozen and wide-eyed. “Sakura…”

All of a sudden the entire airport went quiet, everything muted, as his gaze momentarily dropped from her face. And suddenly, it clicked. 

“No,” she said, shaking her head. 

But Sakura was not stupid. And maybe she’s known for a while now, just didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to think it into existence. 

She was pregnant. And she didn’t know which of them was the father.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> read the third installment [here](https://ninasonlyfans.tumblr.com/post/629590031521234944)!


End file.
